This collection of home ed and computer related 'lightbulb' jokes is collected from various sources, and includes a few originals. No offence intended to anyone!
-
How
many home educators does it take to change a light bulb?
-
Only one, but you must make sure you mark it down to physics
(electricity and light), technology, PE (climbing ladder), logical
reasoning and social skills (well we can't see each other in the dark,
can we?)
- How
many curriculum-based homeschoolers...?
- None. Home
electrics isn't something that should be studied until at least
age 14, so they'll have to call in the electrician at the weekend.
-
How many LEA inspectors...?
- This complex job should
really only be undertaken by qualified electricians, but the law does
acknolwedge the right of ordinary people to take responsibility for
their own electricity, so long as they know what they're doing. First
they need to read the guidelines for acceptable amounts of light in a
room. Then if they're sure they can manage this, they'll need to take a
course in electronics and register as a home electrician, giving date
of birth, qualifications, and any details of previous problems with
wiring.
- How
many unschoolers or autonomous educators...?
- As many as
want to, whenever they feel like it. But they'll probably need a whole
box of lightbulbs, because they'll want to experiment to find out how
to make them break.
- How
many TCS educators?
- The trouble is, the old lightbulb
doesn't want to be removed. Difficult to find a win-win
situation here, but after some brainstorming, the solution is to buy an
entire new light fitting and re-wire the room, while leaving the old
lightbulb where it was.
- How
many bullies does it take to change a light bulb?
-
Four. Do you have a problem with that?
-
How many yuppy home educators?
- Two - one to call the
electrician, and one to pour the sherry.
- How
many folk singers...?
- Two - one to change it, and one
to
write a song about how good the old one was.
- How
many lawyers...?
- Fifty two. Eight to argue, one to get
a
continuance, two to object, one to demur, two to research precedents,
one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, seven to turn in their time
cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one
to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty six to bill for
professional services.
- How
many feminist home educators?
- One. And it's NOT FUNNY!
-
How many UK home educating families...?
- Estimates vary,
but nobody really knows.
- How
many Macintosh programmers...?
- None - they try and fix
the old one.
- How
many Pentium programmers...?
-
2.99999999999999999999999999
-
How many C++ programmers....?
- You're still thinking
procedurally. A properly designed light-bulb object would inherit a
change method from a generic light-bulb class, so all you have to do is
send a light-bulb-change message.
- How
many MAC users?
- Well I see the icon for removing
lightbulbs, and I see the icon for putting in the new
lightbulb. But what the heck do I do with this bulb I'm
holding in my hand?
- How
many Linux users?
- Oh dear, it's all a bit
complicated. Let's refer to the manual. Nobody else
has the faintest idea what we're actually trying to do here.
-
How many PC users?
- Change the lightbulb? Isn't it
easier just to go out and buy a whole new system these days?
-
How many Word Perfect support technicians...?
- We have
an
exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can
you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay, now exactly how dark is
it? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong. Have you tried the
light switch?
- How
many Microsoft technicians...?
- Three. Two holding the
ladder, and one to screw the light bulb into the hot tap.
-
How many Atari executives...?
- We no longer support that
product. However, the new Jaguar CD does include a virtual light bulb
that never needs changing.
-
How
many Microsoft executives...?
- None. When the lightbulb
fails, they declare darkness as the new industry standard.


